Australian Quidditch Association

Victoria’s vibrant and rapidly growing quidditch scene came well and truly of age at Monash University on Saturday August 10, with the inaugural Melbourne Mudbash tournament marking Melbourne’s first foray into major national-level tournament extravaganzas.

With 80 people, including six from out of state, representing six different teams in an epic 12-game contest, there was a definite promise of majestic memorability and plain and simple, of high quality games of quidditch.

It took months of painstaking clinical work by tireless tournament director Emma Morris and the whole Victorian Quidditch Association to put the event together. The triumph of the VQA in simply managing to organise this grand gala against the odds, almost completely out of their own pockets and minds due to being an unaffiliated community body, meant there was definitely a promise of prodigious soul, spirit and dedicated passion.

From the quality of quidditch in a clearly close-run field to the ubiquitous guarantee of adorable quidditch friendship on a mass scale, Mudbash promised many things, all of which it essentially delivered on. But there was one crucial promise which superseded all others, one which if gone unfulfilled would doubtless have rendered the venture an unmitigated disaster.

There was the promise of mud, sweet squelching viscous mud.

Oh boy did we get it, for the Monash University pitch presented itself in the form of a glorious bog. Each unique and sweaty quidkid blended seamlessly, forming a single monstrous writhing organism of brown and furious passion. It has been known for all of eternity that the shared pain of quidditch fatigue brings people together. It has been further known since Midwinter Cup 2012 that the shared maximum dishevelment of mud-ruined hair, eyes, clothing, socks and shoes, creates a spiritual bond like no other. Based on this criterion alone, Mudbash 2013 was perhaps the single greatest event in the history of organised sports.

As an event, it was certainly lacking nothing elsewhere either. The quidditch was fabulous, well and truly starting with a bang as Melbourne’s two AQA ranked and hopefully QUAFL-bound teams faced off.  The Monash Muggles are not a new team by national standards, having been around for a couple of years. But after a period in the wilderness they were back and strong, ready to start an assault on the Melbourne Manticores, Mudbash, then Australian quidditch in general. The Manticores, Victoria’s pre-eminent team, entered the tournament with unparalleled experience on their side and as clear favourites to take home the trophy. But both young and growing teams, the Wrackspurts and the Basilisks, as well as the returned force that was the Muggles, were causing them trouble. Some surprise recent trends within the VQA’s Winter League had rather thrown a spanner into the notion of supposed Melbourne dominance, so it was a nervous time for the Manticores and for tipsters in the final weeks before D-day.

Game 1 – Melbourne Manticores – 140* vs Monash Muggles – 40

From brooms up, the Manticores were immediately in control against their old traditional rivals. Callum Dale, on debut in AQA ranked play, made an abrupt impression upon the scoresheet by swooping to a powerful opener in the early seconds. With fellow rookie Alan Lahiff providing added firepower, captain and figurehead Katherine Hunter was able to find space easily, snaking largely untroubled towards the goal face, by which time she can rarely be stopped. Hunter’s clinical finishing saw her quickly accumulate a brilliantly slick and understated hat-trick.

The diminutive Lahiff added a goal of his own in the fifth minute to take it to 50-0 and keep Melbourne ahead in their race against the clock.

The Muggles were doing little wrong; on the heels of their talismanic leader Manuel Thomson they were penetrative in attack. But they just were not of the same professional and defensive standard as the highly drilled Manticores. Monash particularly struggled to match their opponents’ always improving beating strength, with Cameron Mitchell and Rebecca Hackett stepping into the leadership void left by the injured James Williams and ensuring he was minimally missed.

Any hope the hosts had of finding relief when the Manticores’ starting line-up were relieved was a false dawn, for their depth is their greatest strength. Michael Butera, already so well proven as a class keeper and chaser, took vigorous charge of the beating game, while the hulking frame of Robbie Tucknott did not require much time to bustle its way through and quickly add a sixth goal.

Thomson and Sam Duddy were able to escape the Manticore defence in the eighth minute and put Duddy through for the Muggles’ opener. 60-10 was still one-sided, but the contest by now had definitely evened up as the Manticores looked to consolidate and the Muggles found their feet. It took the runaway leaders seven fruitless frustrating minutes to further expand their advantage with a seventh goal.

Beck Dare quickly made it 80-10, but the spirited hosts were not done. Bodie Nash was unleashed late into the game but proved to be their trump card, scoring a fabulous hat-trick. Further goals from Tucknott between each of Nash’s kept the comeback in check but nevertheless, 100-40 had a slightly edgier feel about it, especially as the snitch was now back on field. Manticore super-seeker Sam Washington struggled initially, not being able to go that extra inch on many occasions and secure the snatch. His tussles with the snitch easily opened counter-opportunities for Muggle seeker Nicola Gertler, but she would consistently forego them given her team’s sixty point disadvantage, waiting for and confident of a continued revival.

A dramatic run to the flag was never really forthcoming though. As much as the Muggles improved, the Manticores were within themselves and always had control of the contest. A second goal to Lahiff pulled the margin back out to seventy before Washington finally secured his capture to seal a tough but ultimately decisive 140-40 victory.

Game 2 – Wrackspurts – 200* vs Orion Hunters – 0

The second match of the day saw the tournament’s second most fancied unit, the Wrackspurts, take on the Orion Hunters who have forever redefined what it means to be ‘new boys.’ The Hunters were formed in the very final days leading up to the event and made their debut as a team on any competitive or uncompetitive level against actual opposition in this very match.

The Wrackspurts are hardly a vintage organisation, but in their few short months they have come so far and could be considered genuine chances of ultimate Mudbash glory.

These indications pointed towards a one-sided match, and so it proved. As has historically been the Melbourne way, it was pure quaffle dominance which defined the Wrackspurt supremacy, as the imposing trio of Daniel Jenkins, Jacobo Arenas Gonzalez and Deni Tasman swept all before them. Orion struggled in adapting to the rigours of top level quidditch so were never in the contest, allowing the ruthless but still relatively relaxed Wrackspurts to run well away with it, not needing a great deal of time to bring home a 200-0 win.

Game 3 – Blackburn Basilisks – 70* vs Team Amazeballs – 30

The final two teams to start their campaigns were the last remaining strong and growing Victorian powerhouse, the Blackburn Basilisks, and the mercenary Team Amazeballs unit, consisting of unaffiliated and new players from Melbourne and wider Victoria, as well as travellers from New South Wales and Queensland.

At first the match was a tough defensive struggle, with goals difficult to find. As one would expect, the Basilisks looked to have the general run of play over their still gelling composite opponents. But they couldn’t quite find a path to goal. It was an old New South Wales fixture who made the greatest initial impact, with UWS stalwart Daniel Ormshaw making his mark on the Melbourne game too, consistently denying the aggressive Basilisks with his keeping then scoring twice on the counter-attack to hand Amazeballs a surprise 20-0 lead.

Luke Teys then made his expected and overdue presence felt, eventually netting a couple of scores. But Amazeballs were still staying somewhat in control, with an interim goal from James Lee preserving the lead.

If the contest wasn’t tense enough, the snitch on this occasion returned in notably little time, reaching the field with the match locked at 30-30. Now was the time for Basilisks captain Scott Cody to step up, putting his frustrations behind him to finally beat Ormshaw to his first goal of the tournament, before immediately swapping to seeker and pouncing in seconds, taking his team to a tough 70-30 win.

MUD UPDATE:  Some patches of pitch clinging onto status as mere moist grass. Remaining majority, including all heavy action zones, now formally sludge. Defensive prowess able to be established easier by measuring of splash radius from grounded ball-carrier at goal face.

Game 4 – Wrackspurts – 70* vs Monash Muggles – 20

With only a match each under everyone’s belt, it was hard to know the true hierarchy of things. But the contest between the Muggles and Wrackspurts would take us a long way towards clarity, as the two met in the middle after their respective openers against the two quality extremes in the competition.

The Muggles were better able to hold solid in defence against the hardly weak Wrackspurts chasing unit. Though both teams struggled somewhat in taking control of the beater contest, it was nevertheless a low-scoring game, largely because of the major similarities between both athletic but fairly simple and straight up the middle teams.

The Wrackspurts were the superior well-rounded unit on all fronts though, with Daniel Jenkins once again leading from the front, fighting through for a couple of crucial goals to scrape out a 40-20 lead. The Muggles were clearly fatiguing but still just about hanging on. But it didn’t matter in the end as Wrackspurt seeker Patrick Watson grabbed himself a snitch and a second win for the morning.

Game 5 – Melbourne Manticores – 150 vs Blackburn Basilisks – 100*

Next up came the first true classic of the day, as the Manticores and Basilisks faced off.  You certainly wouldn’t have guessed a classic was in the offing based on the early exchanges, as the now chasing Mick Butera and Alan Lahiff quickly opened the floodgates. Scott Cody had an answer in the fourth minute, but it was temporary respite for Blackburn as the Manticores drew clear.

The hype surrounding the Basilisks and their potential chance of winning the tournament was around their depth in numbers and around their beaters, often quoted as the best in the state. Led by the pugnacious Elizabeth Herring, they certainly weren’t struggling to make their presence felt and to keep ahold of two bludgers, largely playing the Manticores’ marquee chasing men out of the game. But such is the Manticore depth that still the scoreboard ticked over, with Hunter as ever and Kat Young dominating scoring.

By the fifteen minute mark, the score was 80-10, the snitch was back, and the Basilisks looked gone. But you couldn’t tell Basilisk seeker Justine Herring that, for she soundly refused to catch the snitch, showing faith in her team-mates to come from the dead. Her faith wasn’t misplaced however, with a pair of goals bringing the score back to 80-30. Robbie Tucknott then charged his way to a pair of goals and restored Melbourne’s seventy point lead, but astonishingly, it was all Blackburn from there.

The story of the match from now on was that of elusive snitch Bodie Nash and combative seeker Justine Herring, still steadfastly in defence mode and physically taking it very much to first Sam Washington, then Katherine Hunter. As the drama of the seeking antics distracted and frustrated the flattening and apparently home Manticores, Scott Cody led Blackburn spectacularly back into the reckoning.

By the half an hour point, the Manticores’ lead was down to 110-70 and nerves were frayed. But with the Basilisk beaters busy working on the snitch game, arguably unnecessarily given Herring’s effectiveness, Mick Butera was able to take it upon himself to lead a second Manticore wave. Four unanswered goals extended the margin back out to eight goals. With the game again potentially lost and everyone’s last drop of energy absolutely lost, Herring relented and swept, beating the unready Washington to the eventual catch and ending the game 150-100 to the Manticores.

Game 6 – Team Amazeballs – 150* vs Orion Hunters – 30

The ultimate VQA newbie contest took us to lunch, with the rookie Orion Hunters and all-star Amazeballs both looking for a first win.

Given their respective first-up performances, the start of the match was rather a shock, as the more comfortable looking Orion Hunters responded to Arfy Papadam’s opener with a couple of their own for a 20-10 lead. Papadam and UWS team-mate Daniel Ormshaw were once again the dominant forces eventually though, but with a less intensive defensive challenge facing them, the inexperienced potential of Peter Lego’s chasing and Kirk Donaldson’s beating in particular was able to shine through.

For Orion, the day had to be about pride, fun and consistent improvement, and they were most certainly better second time around. But the Amazeballs had more than enough firepower to easily romp home 150-30.

As of lunch-time, there was a fairly clear order of proceedings, particularly at the top. The only two undefeated teams were the two most heavily expected to be so, the Manticores and the Wrackspurts. As they were not scheduled to face off, the smart money was on both to sweep four victories from four, necessitating a blockbuster final to award ultimate glory.

MUD UPDATE:  Official unbroken mudpatch, quota of visible green passed zero, regressing into the negative. Achievement unlocked. Tournament legitimised. Global footwear revenue spiking 15% on anticipation alone.

 Game 7 – Blackburn Basilisks – 160* vs Monash Muggles – 70

First up after lunch was perhaps a battle over third, between the Basilisks and Muggles, who both split their two games before lunch as well as both falling to the Manticores. But the Basilisks pushed them far closer so came in as deserved favourites, a status they emphatically reinforced by racing to a 30-0 lead inside the first two minutes. But from that point forward it was the Muggles whose chasers controlled the play, as ever on the back of Thomson and Nash, before Luke Nickholds’ injection into the game added further firepower to the equation.

By the ten minute mark the scores were level at 40-40 and from there neither team could find an advantage, each answering an opposition goal with one of their own. But the Muggles never once managed to find the lead, which they needed to given the Basilisks’ extra depth and seeking strength. From 70-70, the match slowly petered out once again, eventually running to half an hour in length, playing perfectly into Basilisk hands. They were six goals clear by the capture of the snitch, giving them a 160-70 victory.

Game 8 – Team Amazeballs – 150* vs Wrackspurts – 140

But now it was time for the Wrackspurts and Amazeballs to steal the Basilisks thunder, teaching them a lesson in how to grind out tense marathon epics. It took some time for the pattern of the match to emerge, as both teams traded goals early. The Wrackspurts could have been expected to win this one with relative comfort, so 30-30 was a nervous scoreline for them.  But they were the clearly more coherent unit, possessing stronger chaser depth which began to assert its ascendancy. Beyond the usual flying suspects, Meg Harding was an unstoppable little force here, aiding the Wrackspurts as they got to an 80-30 lead and relative comfort.

But control can breed relaxation and so it was that, consciously or unconsciously, the Wrackspurts’ foot came off the pedal. Daniel Ormshaw and Arfy Papadam don’t need much invitation to blow an opposition defence away, so back the Amazeballs came into some sort of tentative contention.

The Wrackspurts margin began to flitter tensely between twenty and forty, with Amazeballs gallantly trying to play the returning snitch into relevance. As the twenty minute mark came and well and truly went goals began to dry up, with both teams digging their heels, desperate to prevent any leaks, with one goal here or there making all the difference.

For the third time today, a fabulous match began to approach the half an hour point, yet despite the Wrackspurts’ greater numbers, Amazeballs were still with them, a particularly amazing feat given that the lack of female substitutes ensured Cairns duo Brodie Smart and Jessica Simpson could find no respite. But they did find total and utter hero status and it was Smart’s goal which narrowed the margin to 140-120, just in time for fifth choice seeker Arfy Papadam to swoop on field and snap a remarkable match-winning snatch, completely a truly astonishing against the odds, come from behind upset victory.

MUD UPDATE: Pitch texture now officially at ectoplasmic status. Geologists record 8mm rise in continental water table. Organic growth rendered impossible within on site soil for remaining duration of Cenozoic era. All players under 5ft, 6in tall now confirmed as registered missing persons. Pitch relocated.

Game 9 – Melbourne Manticores – 80* vs Orion Hunters – 50*

After such drama, everyone needed a nice rest. Happily, the ladder-leading Manticores were up against the cellar dwelling Orion Hunters, on paper the most lopsided game of the day. But it didn’t really turn out that way, thanks to Orion having improved out of sight from each game to the next on their debut matchday. Aiding the Hunters gallant and immensely popular cause, was the relative flat lining of the Manticores, due in no small part to the marathon effort they had to put in against the Basilisks.

The result was never going to be in doubt, but Orion did well to put a couple of goals through and limit Melbourne to eight of their before the admittedly short-returning snitch was caught. But it was the Hunters who snatched the snitch, finalising the score at a distinctly competitive looking 80-50. With three wins from three and the Wrackspurts now having dropped a game to Team Amazeballs, the Manticores would need only to overcome the same opponent to lock up the trophy. But given the unspectacular margin here, a loss to Amazeballs could spell points percentage trouble.

Game 10 – Blackburn Basilisks – 80* vs Wrackspurts –60

Flagged pre-tournament as one of the crucial table-defining matches, the Basilisks and Wrackspurts faced off now, fighting to retain any chance of mathematical glory, for a loss for either of them would be their second of the day and end their campaign.

The Wrackspurts were the more threatening with the quaffle, while the Basilisks were the more thorough with the bludgers, resulting in a relative stalemate. It was the Wrackspurts who got on the board first, but the next three goals were scored through the other hoops. The Basilisks were threatening to draw clear, but as standout Wrackspurt beater Umberto Bucalossi’s influence on the game increased, he was able to clear channels to goal for his athletic chasers and reverse the run of play again.

Five unanswered goals for the Wrackspurts had them 60-30 clear with the snitch having returned early. But the snitch would prove mercifully evasive, providing extra entertainment while allowing the even struggle to play itself out a little more. As was proving to be their consistent forte, the Basilisks came home strong, with two goals bringing the deficit back to a single score. It was a scary situation for the Wrackspurts, knowing the quality of Basilisk seeker Justine Herring. They had been impressive all day but were now in danger of cruelly dropping a second game from in front. Alas, this is how it would prove to be. Herring made it four Basilisk catches from four games and snatched them an 80-60 win.

Game 11 – Monash Muggles – 150* vs Orion Hunters – 70

The calm before the storm. Before the title would be decided in the final match, the winless Muggles and Hunters faced off in the bottom of the table clash. The quality of this game spoke highly of the fantastic competitiveness of the tournament. So tight are the middle reaches of Melbourne’s quidditch landscape that the Muggles were very hard done by to somehow not have a win yet today.  It meant they were easily too much for the Orion Hunters for most of the game, even despite the Hunters’ amazing improvement.

Orion really were completely unrecognisable from the morning to the afternoon. Even despite the Muggles drawing easily away to an early 80-20 lead and despite their smaller squad, they still had the energy and fight to rally and make a contest out of it. By the time of the snitch catch, the Muggles’ lead was only a semi-safe looking fifty points, with their catch taking the final score to 150-70.

MUD UPDATE: New pitch deteriorating despite reasonable initial condition, minimal game-time and warmer temperatures. Only possible conclusion: initial mud indisputably sentient and migrating along in the footfalls of quidkids, never allowing us freedom again.

Game 12 – Melbourne Manticores – 90* vs Team Amazeballs – 20

After eleven games, it all came down to this. Thanks to the vagaries of the draw, scheduling delays, unexpected results and points percentage, more quirky mathematical scenarios existed than it would be wise to try and explain. The crux of it was that the Manticores and Team Amazeballs were now the only two teams who could be Mudbash champions and most appropriately, they faced off now in the tournament closer.

All the mathematical complexities would be handily avoided if the Manticores could simply win and stay undefeated, so it was of great convenience that they took immediate command of the match. A couple of Amazeball goals at the very start and end of the match kept the Manticores honest. They were always well in control of every facet of the game though and would surely have expanded further on their 60-20 lead had the snitch been able to survive for longer.

As it was, the last catch came quickly as so very often happens late on tournament afternoons, allowing everyone to instantly collapse to the ground in blissful agony. But while the agony may have been more pronounced for many of the Manticores who made up the organising team and worked so very hard, their subsequent bliss was equally amplified for the Melbourne Manticores  had been crowned the inaugural Melbourne Mudbash champions.

RESULTS

FINAL STANDINGS